Honestly... I'm doing OK!!

Several friends have emailed me recently to ask how I'm really doing. I made this blog public, just so people could keep up and know how I'm doing and to avoid typing the same stories over and over again.

Many seem to doubt that I'm really sharing the truth. I'm posting to assure you that I am sharing most of how I feel. I even posted the fainting episode. If that's not sharing, I don't know what is!!

I will share more about the post chemo week. Maybe that'll satisfy the need to know that I'm not *always* doing well.

This round of chemo has been, well, odd. I did great the first 48 hours post treatment. And that was without any medications. I did have a weird stomach thing happen. Those who know me well probably aren't surprised that my stomach acted up. My nurse changed my nausea medication and that helped tremendously. You know about the passing out incident, that was just stupidity on my part. Now I'm dealing with hives. So, in a nutshell, I'm not perfect, but I'm doing OK. I'm back at work, trying to concentrate enough to make it through a days work. Friends are checking in and that's nice. I get random IM's from friends allover and that makes me smile. So for those who are concerned, I hope this posting assures you that, all things considered, I'm doing A-OK.

Round 2 and all is well

Tuesday was Round 2 of chemo for me. My friend Angela volunteered to be my Chemo Buddy for the day. Lucky for you, she brought her camera, so you get to share in the experience, too. Unfortunately, I wasn't aware enough to take pictures of our cribbage game. Something I'm now addicted to and I'm teaching myself to play to be better next time!

The morning went incredibly smooth. All appointments were on time and the medicines dripped out of their bottle and bags at an appropriate pace and all was well. Angela journeyed down to the cafe and gathered sustinence for our long morning. We played cribbage until I just couldn't keep my eyes open due to a Benedryl give pre chemo. I was sitting under an incredibly bright light, so ingenuity took over in my out of it state of mind and here's how I slept for a while:



Unfortunately, I slept too long and we only got to play one game of cribbage and that left Angela to fend for herself for much of the time. I'm glad I brought Debra's book, Cancer Vixen along. It's a hoot and highly recommended and it kept Angela entertained.

After leaving Chemo Central, Angela dropped me off at Tracey and Sharon's house. Angela checked out and loved ALL the colors of the house...even the bedroom! She left after a quick house tour and Tracey treated me to a wonderful massage. As she was finishing up, Sharon came home and Tracey headed out to massage other folks. Sharon and I hung out, watched Al Gore on Oprah, ate Turkey soup, a sleeve of saltines and pound cake. After some quality friend time, she drove me to Harris Teeter to pick up the good drugs and off to home I went.

After a lovely soaking bath, I anticipated drifting off to sleep and waking up refreshed the next day. My body, however, had another plan. After a difficult time falling asleep by midnight, my burning stomach woke me up at 3a. After a few tums, tossing and turning and some time online, I feel asleep by 6a. I woke up just in time to get dressed for my acupuncture appointment.

Today has been back and forth with my nurse about controlling this stomach ache that's not nausea. Her suggestion was Ativan. So, here I sit in an Ativan induced state writing about life. Maybe it's time I give up this post and turn in for the night. More later.

Cold Running Creek and Baldness

Last night I enjoyed the company of Angela and Annette for a quick bite at the Mongolian restaurant on Ninth St. We met there to quickly eat, then we headed up to the independent bookstore for a reading. My friend and writing goddess teacher woman Zelda, just self published her second novel. This was her first reading since publication. I had read her first novel and enjoyed it, although the subject matter was a little difficult to read. I wasn't sure what to expect from the second novel, but I wanted to be supportive and attend her reading. I'm really glad I did. She's a great reader. I admit, I haven't been to that many readings, but I have gone to some. I loved the way she read each character in a unique voice. Her enthusiasm and general presence made the reading fun. Afterwards the question and answer period was quite informative, too. Zelda is someone who I see really sticking to her convictions. It may have not always come easy for her, but she practices what she preaches and I admire that in her.

It's always interesting to hear what goes into creating a story...the blood, sweat and tears that were poured into this story became quite evident as she talked about the process. Her answers were genuine and real and the subject matter is fascinating. To read more about it, go here:
Zelda's books You can read about Fifth Born, her first novel, too.

Something interesting happened at the reading. I wasn't the only bald woman there! I was the only bald woman due to chemotherapy, however not the only bald head. I wonder if it's cultural thing, since I've seen several African-American woman with hair shorn as closely as mine and they don't seem to surprised by my baldness. There baldness seems to be by choice and so much more natural than me walking around with no hair. As a side note, every woman I've seen with little or no hair has looked beautiful! I personally think I look like my grandfather! However, I have gotten many compliments from all types of women. It's a nice stroke to the ego during a time I may not be feeling my best. I've been told that I'm "brave", "cute", "hot", "sexy" and other such things. I find it hard to grasp that I'm hot under any circumstances, but it is nice to hear while I'm sans hair. The worst thing that happened to me since the shaving was a woman followed me into the bathroom at a basketball game and looked up, went back out the door to see the sign. I heard her husband ask if she went in the bathroom because they thought I was a man. I just smirked at her when she walked back in. Have they never seen a person who's had Cancer before?!?! I'm sure that'll happen more than once, but it's something I'm unfortunately used to having happen.

Bald is Beautiful

Well, I did it...actually, Sharon did it. My hair is gone and it feels great. I was sick of waiting, so I did a pre-emptive strike on Sunday. Pictures will be posted later, so go ahead and rev up those funny bones for any witty comments!!

Friends are also offering hats for the winter. I've gotten a very cool leather beret from Angela and a co-worker just crocheted a really cool wool hat for me. Since the weather has been warm this week, I've been hatless. It's really interesting the smiles, nods and general comments being bald elicits. Some have just been blatant and asked if I'm finished or starting chemo. I love that people are so forthright. I smile, nod and comment back. I'm all for human connection, whatever way it comes.