Monday, February 26, 2007

The end of treatment (a 6 year olds perspective)

Tomorrow, February 27th, 2007 marks what I expect to become the anniversary date for my last treatment for Cancer. I have to believe that is true. I especially have to believe because of the look on Sofie's face this morning when I told her that I have my last "treatment" tomorrow. She beamed...brighter than I've seen in a long time. Her posture changed, her eyes lit up and then, in typical 6 year old fashion, it became all about her! She gave me a high-five, then said "Yay, I get to stay at your house again!"

Since Debra's recurrence and my chemotherapy overlapped beginning in January, Sofie hasn't gotten as much time at my house as she'd like. For many reason's, it's been easier and more practical for me to help out Debra at her house. For Sofie, my house has become a weekend retreat of sorts. We do fun things because when she's with me, it's Friday night through Sunday afternoon after all! I'm certain she's differentiated the two homes in her mind. For example, she corrects Debra every time she mentions "Jamie's house"..."It's a CONDO mom!" she often exclaims. She even calls it a tree house because I live on the top floor and surrounded by trees where the squirrels frolic and raid the bird feeders. Frequent readers also know Santa brought Sofie her very own video game, so that's a draw. In her mind, the places are very different. However, Debra and I really strive to maintain consistency for her, so many of the basics of life are the same in both homes.

Before my diagnosis, Sofie stayed a bit longer and on a more consistent basis. She was here on school nights. That will all begin again after I get through the next few weeks. She'll start staying with me more, especially during the weeks that Debra has chemotherapy. During all of this, I remind her that the "fun" stuff we do and they way we do things now will be like it has been when she's stayed on school nights. I'm sure we'll have a little struggle but for me, consistency is more important than any struggle she and I will go through. I'm absolutely positive any battle we have now will pale in comparison to when she's 13 and I'm an annoyance just existing.

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