Thanks to everyone for their support during my mini-meltdown yesterday. I have to say that writing the last blog posting was very therapeutic! After writing it, I felt tons better. Apparently all those people bugging me to write all these years were right. I just should have listened sooner.
Debra came home from the hospital today. She's still pretty weak. It'll take her a few days to get reoriented to life at home. The troops are arriving, so life will be easier for our family as we ride this roller coaster. I won't bore you with the schedule, but suffice it to say, we're covered through the New Year! We're going to try to have a great remainder of the year and create more memories.
Many are asking how Sofie's doing. I'd say today she had a major breakthrough. She apparently started sobbing at school during recess. She went over to one of her teachers and said, "I'm worried about my mommy!" sprinkled between sobs. After a bit of consoling she called Debra to check in on her. That made her feel better. Maya came and picked her up early from school, took her to Locopops for a frozen treat then to Whole Foods to get some flowers for Debra's return home. While at Locopops, Sofie informed a woman there with her dog that her mom has Cancer. The woman told her she was sorry. Sofie didn't stop there. She said my other mom had Cancer, too. And because of that I get to go to Camp Kesem! The lady said, "Well that's a way to find a silver lining out of something bad!" That's our girl.
Fortunately, Sofie had therapy tonight. Lots of good advice shared. She was encouraged to talk about stuff even if it makes her sad since the bad stuff doesn't go away even if you don't talk about it. Well that must have given her the permission she needed. After reading a few chapters in her book and turning lights out, she reached over, gave me a huge hug and said, "Mommy, I LOVE you!" and then she burst into tears and we talked for a long time about Debra. She cried, I cried. It was good. She had a bit of trouble falling asleep, but after crying, she said to me, "I got all the worries and sadness out!" Such a sweet girl she is. Her fear is that Debra will get sicker and have to go back into the hospital. She said, I miss her when she's in the hospital! Then we talked about Mama Debra and cuddling. "She won't get to cuddle and watch Jeopardy with me since she has the new little bed." Awww, poor kid. I wish I could make this all go away, but I know we've got a long road ahead of us.