Life is, at best, scattered. And when that happens, I often get writer's block. Ironically in a time where writing would be a good thing for me. With that said, I started writing this entry over a week ago and hopefully will be able to finish it today.
For those who know me well, you know I'm an introvert through and through. For those who've only briefly met me, you're often surprised at this admission. I'm only giving this information because it's a vital to who I am and what I need to rejuvenate, refresh and relax. It is vital that I get "down-time" everyday. I'm not talking hours and hours, I'm just saying a good 1/2-1 hour where no one makes me do anything is a great way to stay on my good side! With all of that said, let me make it perfectly clear...Jamie has not been getting enough down time lately!!
This isn't going to turn into a griping, bitchy blog entry about "oh whoa is me" because I'm damned lucky to be in the place I'm in right now. I'm starting to feel better physically, mentally and spiritually. I have the cutest, funniest kid in the world. I have a fairly stable job. I have great friends and family. You get the picture, Life is Good!...except for one small detail...I'm living in a surreal world of watching a dear friend and other mother to my child fight the fight of her life, literally.
With this fight, comes needs and great expectations. I feel I'm stepping in, appropriately, to help with those needs and expectations. Sometimes it's as simple as just hanging out and chatting. Other times it's coming over and taking care of Sofie for the remainder of the evening. Most of the time it's in between. What's hardest for me is saying "No" or "I can't really help out today." I don't get bitter, I just do it because it needs to be done and most of the time I'm happy to do it. Other times, I'm tired and I want to chill out on my couch and escape from the world. We're working on a happy medium...something that works for all of us. Keeping our family afloat, making sure something is getting taken care of for everyone...even me.