Friday, March 16, 2007

Rain, rain, go away...

'Tis a rainy day here in Durham, NC. Well, I guess we're better off than the NE and all their snow. It's just one of those days that lends itself to making one blue...or in my case *very* blue. I've been weepy all day long. I met my dad for breakfast this morning and when he asked how things were, I burst into tears. Can't say I've done that in a long time...maybe ever. He was very sweet and supportive and handled my tears with grace and dignity. After I regained composure, I chatted with him about the trials and tribulations of life these days. It felt nice to have a real chat with him.

After breakfast, I drove back to Durham in the pouring rain and shed a few tears along the way. Not really sure what's going on. I think my emotions are playing catch-up with me. I think that when you're in treatment, there's that need to plow on through. No time for real emotions. Then, after treatments over, your mind catches up with the rest of you and the real emotions start rearing their ugly(or not so) heads. I've definitely noticed that I'm feeling down these days. I feel distant from my friends and really don't care. I'm just tired and feel like curling up under the covers and sleeping the day away. But I can't do that today.

I promised Sofie a night in the condo. She really needed time away from Debra and Debra needed a night alone, so here I am. Feeling blah and trying to be a good mom to a very spunky girl. Video games have been played, dinner has been made and now we're watching "Barnyard"...the most disturbing animated movie to date because ALL the cows(male and female) have udders!!! Very distressing. It makes Sofie laugh...a that's all that's important today. Her laughter makes me laugh and that's all good. Even on this rainy cold Friday night.

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